Time's Running Out english
by JeanyAlicia
Summary: Sam's trying to do everything to Dean's pleasure in his last year of living, but on Sam's birthday the harmony get killed by their own bugging thoughts.


A/N: This story came into my mind only a feew days before the finale was aired. I tried to imagine what Sam and Dean would think about. Thinks they would think but never talk about although the knew that it was obvisously. And then...this story was born. It was quite hard to write but I hope I made good job.

A/N: beta reader is (like always) LamiaJade. Pay her a visit )

A/N: I'm sorry about grammar mistakes. As much as I love english. It's still not my mother tongue. :(

Disclaimer: The Winchesters don't belong to me and so Jensen Ackles and Jared Padalecki don't to. They're all Master Kripke's. And he's doing it for the CW. So blame the for giving me these ideas xD. I don't get paid for writing this...what a shame...

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**Time's Running Out**

It was a long, stormy night when Sam and Dean Winchester were on their way home. They really decided to quit their nomad life and to buy a little house. Both craved for the sense of feeling at home and to retire in a place where they wouldn't have to pay for a room. Some place where there was no sign reading 'Motel' on the wall. In their case to retire didn't mean that they were actually giving up the ghost hunt. No, they just took a break. Sam, the younger one, didn't brim over with enthusiasm at first 'cause he wanted to find a way to break his brother free the demonic deal. On night, after Sam was stabbed to death and Dean had the feeling that he screwed up his only real job - to take care of his little brother - he made a deal and sold his soul. In return Sam rose from the dead, but Dean had only 365 days of his own life to live. One year exactly. His life for the life of his brother. Dean was all set to sacrifice himself. Sam was the only one he had left of his family after his mother Mary died in a fire in Sam's nursery and his father John left his own life only a year ago. Dean wasn't supposed to live anymore. He should be dead after the car cash against the truck a year ago. Sam and John survived the accident with some nonfatal injuries, but Dean would have died if his father wouldn't have made the same deal Dean had made for his brother. He just followed in his daddy's footsteps. He couldn't live with the thought of having lost his brother. Sam was the most important person in his life! Ha never made anything else than to look out for his brother. To assure that Sammy was alive and well. The alive-part bugged him. That's why he was okay with sacrifing his own life. 'What's dead should stay dead' he often told himself to believe that what he did for Sam was not wrong. But Sam was dead, too. But then Dean's words didn't matter at all. Sam was his brother, there were other rules to follow. Actually Dean just always tried to hide how afraid of the death he really was. He was so afraid, he didn't want to go to hell. He didn't want to die, but he couldn't bear to see the inanimate body of his beloved brother lying there, motionlessly and cold. 'It was the right decision' he kept saying incessant and yes, maybe it was right to save his brother, but wasn't it already too late? Since Sam knew that he'd died and Dean made a deal to bring him back he couldn't think about anything else than trying to find a way so Dean wouldn't have to go to hell. The time flew so fast, 365 days, that wasn't long at all. It wal like drop in a bucket. One year passed fast and with every second Sam sat still even more of this precious time passed unused.

"It's my dying wish, Sam." de'd said. "Let's... act like nothing happend. We take a break, searching for something we can call home."

"I can't, Dean." Sam could hear the ticking in his head...only 40 weeks left, onle 30 weeks left...

"Only a few days, Sam. Please. A few days..." Dean was begging so hard that his borther couldn't resist. His days were numbered – literally. His whole life he was doing nothing than hunting down creatures noone ever dared to dream of. He wanted to grant him some peace. A small piece of an intact world.

These few days were now almost two months. Sam really liked their apartment. It was big enough for both of them, but they still slept in the sam room. It might have been the force of habit. Or Dean's desire for being always able to keep an eye on Sam. Or maybe both wished to be close to each other. To feel some warmth of the most important person they both had. Whatever it was, it hadn't changed since they were kids except of the death of their father. Sam felt queasy when he thought about how they burned their father's body. And he was anxious that maybe he had to do the same procedure once again – but this time with the corpse of his beloved brother. He had to sit down for a moment. He didn't want to think about it and a second later he felt how his eyes were filled with tears. Sam was the more sensitive one of the Winchesters. No, honestly both were very sensitive when it's about family, but Sam wasn't ashamed to stand by his tears. On the other hand Dean hid himself behind a wall and pretended to be the stronger one. Rough exterior but a heart of gold. Dean just wanted his brother to feel save. He never did anything else in about 25 years than taking care of Sam as good as he could. But Sam could look right through it. Sam knew what Dean felt and thought. He always wanted to be just like his big brother. He admired him, knew him better than anyone else. He had analyzed and memoyzed every facial expression of his big brother. He noticed immediately when Dean tried to fool him, but he didn't tell him anymore.

It was Sam's Birthday. Not really a happy day for him. The 352nd day he was visited by the same nightmare. He saw his brother die but couldn't do anything about it. He stood there like a stuffed dummy although he wanted to scream. Although he wanted to run to his brother to beg for his life. He rather would have given his own life instead of seeing his brother die. Since 50 weeks he didn't get a wink of sleep. The only thing taking him to bed was the certainty that he would need a bit of energy to save Dean's life.

Sam stood up and went to the bookshelf. It was full of old, leather-bounded books. All full with drafts, rituals and a bunch of other supernatural stuff. Sam didn't lie if he estimated the number of books at 200 and he read all of them. He combed through the internet. He spent nights and nights with Bobby, an old friend of his father, who had at least three times as many books as Sam had. He read this books, too. He had asked Ruby, a demonic friend fighting on the good side, for help. They put their heads together and thought about the whole thing, but there was no way to get through the enemy. It seemed like there was no way out of the deal for Dean. This certainty made every day worse than the day before. Time was running ou for Sam's brother. Dean had 14 days left to live. Exactly 14 days. That meant, that San had 14 days left to either retire the time so to fulfill Dean's dying wish or to search for a solution. He doubted that there was any mythological book or any webpage he didn't knew yet, but he couldn't just give up! Even if he knew that he could die himself by breakind the deal, he was okay with it. His big brother was everything for him!Sam stood in front of the bookshelf, staring at a single book he knew that he wouldn't find the right answer in it. But that didn't matter now. It was his father's diary he started to write after his wife died. For a long time he made entries. Mary always tried to convince him to start a diary. She herself always said that it helped her to handle certain things. After Mary was dead John took it to heart and wrote down everything about his sons and the bad things in the world. This diary often helped Sam and Dean when they needed some information about a certain creature. It was the last thing they had left of their father. Behind the last side there were some photos that John rescued out of the burning house and some, San and Dean found in their old but reconstructed house in Lawrence, Kansas.

Sam sad in the floor, leaning against a wall and looking at the photos. He thumbed through every single written page running his fingers over the characters. His gaze stopped at a special photo. It was one of the extremely rare Winchester family-photos. Sam was still a little baby. He looked at his mother and ran his fingers over the shiny paper. A sigh escaped his lips. 'I wouldn't remember her at all without these pictures...'. That might be right. How should Sam remember a woman who died when he was only half a year old? He execrated the yellow-eyed demon for doing this to him and his family. The only thing good about the demon hunt was the strong connection between Sam and Dean. They both couldn't think about it being different. If this wouldn't have happened, Dean would be working a normal job and his little brother would have been goe to university to be an approved lawyer. Sam was totally unconcerned about it now. What did he really want to do with being a lawyer but without having a family? Things were just fine the way they were now. That's why didn't want to let his brother die.

Sam was startled by the sound front door being opened and then closed at one fell swoop. He put the diary away. Then he stood up to pat off the dust from his pants. They never even thought of mopping the apartment. Dean entered the living room. He held a package in his hands. A big grin was on his face when he saw his brother.

"Happy birthday, Sammy." He said. Sam just nodded without giving any other kind of reaction. "Come on, Sam! You're having birthday! Let's party! I brought you something." Dean went to the table at the eat-in kitchen, putting the white package on the table to open it. Sam approached the scenario slowly. To celebrate christmas knowing that it wasn't Dean's type but just doing it because it would be Dean's last christmas wasn't funny at all for Sam. And know he should celebrate his own birthday knowing that his brother only had 14 days left to live – How could he possibly be happy? How could he do that? He knew that Dean wanted him to be happy, only for a few minutes. That's why Sam smiled tense. He didn't want to ruin the mood. When Sam looked into the box he couldn't believe his eyes. There was real birthday cake in this box! With frosting decoration and everything! There was 'SAMMY, 26' wirtten in upper case letters. Sam's tense smile to a real, a happy grin for a minute. Dean smirked. "You know I can't bake..." Then he faced Sam and hugged him, gave him a clap on the shoulder. "You slowpoke! I said 'happy birthday'. Happy, you know what that means?" Sam put his arms around Dean and laughed.

"Thanks. I don't think I ever had a birthday cake since..." Dean released the embrace, looked at Sam and nodded. His facial expression was telling Sam that it wasn't easy at all for Dean to know that this would be the last birthday of his brother he would live to see. Sam tapped him on the shoulder, but instead of saying anything he went to the kitchen to take two plates and cutlery. As he looked over his shoulder he could se how the older Winchester hung his head taking a deep breath. He was really having a hard time, but he kept on his mask as soon as Sam turned around. Sam knew that he probably shouldn't ask him about it. Dean was trying to enjoy this moment. Furthermore Sam was annoying Dean often enough because of the deal. 'Only two weeks left' Sam repeated in his head. He couldn't bear it in mind. To be honest, Sam knew that he didn't want to live as soon as Dean would be dead, but he couldn't tell Dean about it and so he couldn't show it. He didn't his brother to feel like he sacrificed himself for nothing. Think about wanting to die himself made Sam feeling like he didn't appreciate what Dean did for him. But what would Dean have done if he wouldn't have been able to save his little brother Did he want to die himself? He just wanted a normal life; a normal family. That was the real reason why he took Sam from college. He just wanted to have his family back. Both knew that these four walls couldn't give them back what they once lost in Lawrence, Kansas. They fought against the time that ticked unstoppable.

Sam put the plates on the table to cut two pieces of cake for him and his brother. The he wanted to the sofa, giving one of the plates with cake to his brother.

"Dean?" He couldn't stop thinking about it. He needed to talk about it. "No, Sam. Please." Sam was near bursting from the inside, but he didn't say anything. 'He shouldn't have done it.' Not even on his birthday he could forget what was going to happen to his brother. When would this family being put out of this misery? Only when every demon hunting Winchester was dead? Sam wouldn't let this happen! He wanted to save his brother whatever it would take!

"Sam?" Now Dean started.

"Huh?"

"Quit smiling, Sam. It doesn't make sense at all." Sam stopped smiling immediately.

"What's wrong, Dean?"

"I know what you're thinking, Sammy. I'm not having another thought. I was trying to make you forget...only for a few minutes..." Sam stopped him.

"Shht. Stop it. I'm gonna find a way." Dean shook his head. "Dean! Don't you listen to me? I'm gonna find something, I promise!" Dean shook his again.

"Don't do that. You won't find anything and then your thoughts are going to bug you for the rest of your life because you couldn't keep your promise. Don't you do that." Sam sighed.

"What life? What am I gonna do without you? I can work with Bobby until he dies and then I'm having nothing at all. Noone! Damnit, Dean! If you want me to be happy on my birthday just let me the glimpse of hope! I'm gonna try everything possible. Tell my that I'm gonna find a way." Sam was enraging. He didn't want to hear his brother talking about life Sam wouldn't have without his brother. Sam knew that his life would become worthless. Maybe he would try to live but he wouldn't succee. Or maybe he would hunt everything down that looked to him like a demonic son of bitch. He didn't like both options. He just wanted to save the last piece that he had of family. Dean was unable to say anything. He stared at the amulet around his neck Sam give long time ago as a christmas present. He never took it of except for taking a shower. Sam meant everything too him, both were thinking the same sometimes, but how n the world should he be able to tell him that he trusted him when he saw Sam doing nothing else but researching until late at night, calling everyone he knew who could possibly know anything he didn't knew already, googling thorugh the whole internet, reading loads of books, staying awake with Bobby or Ruby and sometimes with both of them to discuss about ways to save him– and still everything without success? He really wanted to tell him that he trusted him, but he saw his brother toturing himself long enough. He wanted to stop it once and for all. On the other hand Dean knew that Sam would flip out if he would tell him what he was thinking so he just kept his mouth shut. But Sam knew also what the silence was telling him. He knew Dean too well. He was enraging, nearly bursting into pieces. Sam grabbed his plate and let it crash into the sink. The plate broke to pieces as much as Sam's head did. He went into the bedroom to get dressed. Then he picked up his keyes und disappeared in the mild midday sun of may the 2nd. If he would have turned around he probably would have seen the lonesome tear sparkling on Dean's cgeek. He felt so useless...


End file.
